Call You Lover

Don’t call me “dear”

it sounds so harsh to my delicate ears

Call me by my name but only sometimes

I can call you by your name though

any time of the day or the night

and you shall respond.

You will be there for me whenever I want

Respond to me as I wish

No surprises accounted for

You will act how I think you should act

For you are

the reflection of my negation

and the one breath whose presence keeps me warm

and whole.

My wounds you understand

you nurture and protect

With a love conditioned by only one thing:

my forgetfulness the day after

I will not disintegrate

Like that

with you

I will not let you be the you that I have not charted

The you that I did not expect

The you that lives and breathes outside the lines I have drawn

in the discarded dirt of my unkempt garden.

In other worlds

You have become dust

Just like that

The wind takes you away and disperses you

So that I can no longer see you

Your tiny particles so small to be

otherwise lost

time is whisked away with you by the wind

and memory fails.

You---------

You were the lone daffodil 

Hidden inside crinkled sheets 

Blown to  pieces

And bits

with one wrong move

and somewhere

in a far off land

My “I” will never hope to exist

Without you.