Bright lights from the villa lie
reaching across the hills like tendrils as I approach from below. Voices heard,
a rippling of laughter, a swift flash of flesh, my party-ready footsteps on the
pavers sound more reminiscent of slippers on grass. A door opens to release the
roar of the party, an unquiet guest or, could it be the inhabitant? My sensibility flutters, as I observe that it
is she. There on the terrace. Clarissa.
In a flowing red dress, she is even more stunning than I remember. And,
even better, more unassuming than anyone I have ever known. She, the “she” inside of her, is a
phenomenon, magical. If she weren’t so
real to me, I would think she had escaped from a different realm. I wave to her, she responds excitedly coming
towards me as I walk up the steps armed with an immensely satisfying hug and
some wildflowers to give to one of the people I most cherish in all the universe.
“Rino.” She pauses to
observe me and what I think is my expression.
“How good it is to finally see you.” She brushes my cheek softly with
her lips as I touch her full, essential hip with my hand. A modicum of
restraint allows me to pull away as I again hear the terrace door burst open to
let out the chaos upstairs. I
momentarily reflect on this unsuitable commotion among the quiet repose outside as Richard
leans over the wall to greet me, only partially concealed by a grey silk shirt
unbuttoned down to his navel. “Rino!!
What are you waiting for? Come up, come up.
Clarissa, get him a drink would ya’? Pronto. Hahaha” His basic, booming voice echoes
against the rocky earth in the distance as he rushes back inside to close the door, sealing
the silence, leaving us once again to ourselves. There is a silence, but it is not at all
uncomfortable. She smiles, and I reflect
with my own. We quickly complete the
ascent arm-in-arm, with one state of mind, one sense of being. “It was a long time ago.” “Yes, it was.” Some
more silence as we stand to face each other on the final terrace.
“I’m different now, in some sense, you know,” she says. “I’m not sure if you will recognize me from
the lady that you once knew so well. But
I am a better version of myself.
Stronger and, more able to take a joke. More at ease with my life, and
my decisions. You look beautiful by the way.
You simply glow in this lighting, Rino.
I’ve missed you.” She hugs me again.
This time closer and harder. I
almost lose my balance on the vicarious step I am on. “We better head in and face everyone at
last. Richard has been looking forward
to seeing you again as well. From what I
understand, he has some things to tell you.
But that’s Richard. It might just
be a new cocktail recipe. Or his latest
ideas on curing hangovers, which I’m not sure will work. His life is one long, everlasting
hangover. Different story entirely
though.” She laughs. “Wait.” I stop,
still hanging onto the step for dear life. “Before we go in, I want to ask you
something.” “OK, no problem. Go ahead,” with a questionable tone to my voice. I quickly remember that whenever we are
together she somehow manages to speak much more than me, rendering my usual
swift and streaming eloquence mute. I
find this strange because she always appeared to me as someone who preferred to
be left alone. I am privileged to know
that this is far from the truth.
“Rino.” We are in
shadow now, so it is hard for me to see her face precisely. She may think I glow, but in the dim shadows
of her villa, she exudes a sinuous sort of darkness. A curious sense of unknowingness. I see exactly what she means. She is not the same woman.
“I still think of you.” She grabs my hand. “Still so
rough. Unlike your insides.” She brings my hand up to kiss it, and says,
“You are still a part of me." She places my hand on her heart, pauses, then quickly regains composure. "But, let us proceed, shall we?” I realize that she did not ask me anything,
as she proposed. She sprains the door
handle, as she reluctantly allows us access to her home. A home that I can see is not and will never
be her haven, her nest. Not at all. Not in the least.For more of Clarissa's story, click here
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