Thursday, February 19, 2015

Call You Lover

Don’t call me “dear”
it sounds so harsh to my delicate ears
Call me by my name but only sometimes
I can call you by your name though
any time of the day or the night
and you shall respond.

You will be there for me whenever I want
Respond to me as I wish
No surprises accounted for
You will act how I think you should act
For you are
the reflection of my negation
and the one breath whose presence keeps me warm
and whole.

My wounds you understand
you nurture and protect
With a love conditioned by only one thing:
my forgetfulness the day after
I will not disintegrate
Like that
with you
I will not let you be the you that I have not charted
The you that I did not expect
The you that lives and breathes outside the lines I have drawn
in the discarded dirt of my unkempt garden.

In other worlds
You have become dust
Just like that
The wind takes you away and disperses you
So that I can no longer see you
Your tiny particles so small to be
otherwise lost
time is whisked away with you by the wind
and memory fails.

You were the lone daffodil 
Hidden inside crinkled sheets 
Blown to  pieces
And bits
with one wrong move
and somewhere
in a far off land
My “I” will never hope to exist
Without you.