Monday, June 29, 2015

Runaway Train

Runaway Train

Adam the player. The name will forever be embedded in my mind now for all eternity.  I think what brought it there was when I was shown pictures of his sorry ass on Facebook; each picture living proof of his ability to either draw women into his presence or pay them to be in his photos, so that he can look like he has that skill.  I may never know. For I never met the guy, only heard about his travails second hand while sitting on a train from NYC. I`ll never forget the idea of a guy who wants his balls tied up either and Rocko. Who could forget about Rocko anyway?

The story began with Adam and Summer. Adam is a troubled guy, newly divorced from a wife who was unfaithful, and who is on a vendetta against the world.  He sometimes wears a condom. Sometimes. So statistically speaking it really is a matter of time. But this really isn't the main danger. Not at all. With every woman, every one night stand, he is brought further into life's meaningless black hole.  Too much time there, and he won't even have the choice to leave.

The joys of the train. I went to NYC to meet some friends.  That was my primary objective. Secondarily, to get away from it all. To clear my head from all the complications that have built up over the last year or so.  It did work. The train ride there gave me that. The train ride back gave me something else entirely. Something entirely unexpected, that is.  

Now let's get back to the point. Not that my life is not the point because it is! Totally the point. A point within a point within a point.

I am going to call the man sitting next to me my train companion now because I feel bad about exposing his real name. He had traveled from Chicago to NYC to attend his cousin's wedding at the Ritz Carlton.  He met his mom there because she had taken the plane instead.  Given the fact that the train takes 20 hours, I can perfectly understand why this choice was made.  He is with me now on his train ride home. I will be arriving in Buffalo at just after midnight, while his time of arrival is at 9 am. He tells me a bit about himself, takes a nap, and wakes up.  We get acquainted a little more  He started by telling me about where he lives in Naperville and about Adam:  a man that lives in his singles complex and who likes to tell him about the girls he has hooked up with. He shows him their photos, tells him how they mean nothing to him.  We look him up on Facebook and he shows me the photos of Adam with various groups of females. We discuss who is pretty and who is not, whether Adam is good looking (No not really. He totally looks his role.), and whether the women really were into him (probably not!)  My train partner was completely baffled by Adam's rakelike behavior.  "What a waste of time!  To treat people like that. I'm a good caring guy you know. I would feel bad about doing that to women. You should see how he treats this girl Summer!", he says. Even though he says all of this and admits it is not so ethically correct, he does get to see all the headless, naked photos these women send Adam.  Privileged to take part in the spoils of Adam's war against the female sex.    "Although I do go to a swinger's club," my eyes widening as he says that.  My mouth in O formation.  "I ask the Lord for forgiveness each time and I know that it is wrong, but I am a lonely guy you know". Visions start to spin in my head over all the lonely people in this world and how there must be miles and miles of swinger's clubs that I don't yet know about. He continues to tell me about the goings on in this particular swinger's club connected to a porn shop in the middle of a strip mall in a suburb of Chicago. There is a couple's area roped off from the area corralling all the single guys, as if they have to be contained for some reason. Sometimes the single guys are lucky enough to be called upon to join a couple in their escapades in a private room.  I am still not quite sure what they do while they are roped off though. My head starts to spin as he continues and I have visions of Roman eunuchs being forced into subservience.

I guess one of the guys that he is corralled with, he befriends. I don't remember this guy's name, but I do remember that my partner felt he might be at least bisexual given his propensity towards double penetration and having his balls tied up.  Not quite sure why that second part makes him bisexual, but maybe I was seeing a little bias going on. Who knows? Anyway this particular person, we will call him Jay, keeps asking my partner, who is clearly heterosexual, to come over to watch porn with him. What in the bloody hell would two guys be doing watching porn together anyway, unless the guy is homosexual? My partner never seems to have the ability to deduce these things and maybe choose not to go along with these people? It is interesting to me, but maybe he is just an accepting guy. I suppose there is nothing wrong with that.

So let's go back to the point here.  No more side stories, but you must admit those are fun right? Adam and Summer. Rocko and Summer. Rocko and Adam. Sadly no, but if this were a work of fiction, I would be right on that. Incidentally, my train partner did invite Summer to the swinger's club, but she declined. Why? She didn't want to run into Rocko, who lives in that town.  Incidentally, this particular town has the highest rate of STD's in the nation. With people like Adam running around, it is not hard to see why.  What are the chances? I ask?  I am, by this point, completely and utterly amused by all of this. So I ask him, "Are you telling me stories?" He becomes genuinely upset that I have to ask and becomes offended.  So I stop questioning. I can tell by his reaction that it is all the truth. Sometimes truth is better than fiction, and even more unlikely, after all.

So let me try to get these various characters straight for you.  Adam is the player. He decided to surreptitiously get involved with Summer as a fling or conquest. Summer is troubled. She had a baby by Rocko who abused her and liked to tie her up, but according to my train companion, she let him and didn't mind. So of course, she must be damaged and have some low self esteem problems. Of course.  She is now obsessed with Adam. Calls him constantly, but according to Adam, he wants nothing to do with her.  But, see, Adam has had a rough go of it himself. He has a child by some hispanic girl and is divorced. So he has to travel an hour just to see his child. He is also recovering from a divorce so this has affected his ability to form bonds with others. In other words, he treats people badly because he has been treated badly. Summer keeps calling him, Adam keeps responding. Instead of cutting it off cleanly with her, he continues to lead her on. He tries to pawn her off on my train companion, but when he asks her out and tries to get close, she goes to Adam and claims he is stalking her.  All the while Summer is doing the same thing to Adam.  In other words, these are two seemingly damaged people playing with each other.  Getting what they need from each other. Neither one wants to drop the ball and thus, the game will continue indefinitely. I tell my train companion that it sounds like they are meant for each other.  And that maybe, just maybe, they need each other.Meanwhile, Adam begins to find girls online. He figures he can branch out a little and take road trips trying to get even more game outside his comfort zone. First time out there, he gets denied. The girl won't give him what he wants. So he gets pissed. He drove all that way for nothing . Poor, poor Adam.

I tell my train companion flat out that he needs to stop going to those swinger's clubs.  He is obviously conflicted about it and this bothers him. But he says because he is lonely, he just can't.  He tries, but cannot. I guess middle aged sexual difficulties are beginning to get to both him and Adam. Adam needs to take Cialix and my companion claims that he doesn't get as hard as he used to. So maybe that's all it is. Age and the fleeting nature of time. They both see their ability going away and they aren't getting any younger.  Better enjoy it while you can.  There are more than enough girls to go around for Adam though, but what about for my companion.  He is a nice guy, and I am sure he could make some girl happy.  It is the question of the ages. To want what you cannot have, to never be happy with what can be acquired easily, to never be content unless there is some sort of game or challenge involved. Life is not fair. And unfortunately, my companion does not have his fair share of luck. Or does he?

He did escape all the mess of life. Never married, no children. He can take a 20 hour train trip to NYC no problem at all because he has no ties. He is free to talk to whom he wants, free to be with whom he wants, and doesn't have much of a care in the world.... He can laugh at others' foibles confidently knowing he is basically doing right by himself.  And that, my friends, is a very good thing..  He also knows right from wrong, even though he may not follow his own rules. He still has rules to begin with. Now that is saying something. Something that Adam does not have.  He is still trying to feel his way through the world and all of its intricacies while my companion has the wisdom of an observer. That cannot be bad.

I arrive in Buffalo and my companion asks me, " Have you remembered everything? Should you write this all down?" I confidently state that I will never forget, and I won't.  This is the strangest trip I have ever taken. I give him the website to my blog and tell him to wait about two weeks for me to finish the story.  I am sure he will be pleased to see I have kept my word.  His stories have become part of my stories. And my own story has been affected by his. It is like a nesting doll made of stories continuing down, each wrapping around and nestling within the other.  I can only hope that my own story affects his as well and that just our small connection continues to create change in both of our lives miles and miles away.

To my dear travel companion,
Thank you for this.  I am honored to be given the opportunity to allow your words to/live on.